MOTION TO DO AWAY WITH GRAMMAR!
Since the 12th Century when the English language was brutally and selfishly imposed on an unsuspecting Irish and Norse-Gaelic population by a small band of French speaking gangsters and their Flemish speaking colonial lackeys, the Irish people have had to suffer the indignity of basic grammar.
Am Ghobsmacht and her sister republican fortnightly publications have decided to take a stand against this instrument of British subjugation and disregard the rules of grammar altogether.
Leading this charge of freedom will be none other than the literary martyrs that are the editors of those publications.
In a commendable two-fingered salute to the system, the editor of An Phobhlacht opened with a thinly veiled broadside whilst discussing the new IRA & MI5 movie ‘Shadow Dancer’:
“ANY FILM financed by BBC Films and the British Film Council (with a few bob from the Irish Film Board) is unlikely to be a box office production that portrays the IRA of recent decades fairly, particularly up against Britain’s own Security Service, MI5.”
The reader, while naively following the rules of grammar and punctuation expects to follow the paragraph for at least another sentence due to the opening word of the sentence ‘any’ as opposed to ‘A’. This tool of British control is quite rightly ignored and suddenly the sentence ends and catches the reader.
A Shin Pain spokesman congratulated such a defiant manoeuvre from the journalist add added “...this is a just and rightful step in the direction of disengagement from the suffocating use of English grammar, abbreviation, diction and worst of all – punctuation...”
The spokesperson refused to comment on the discovery of a corpse of an exclamation mark in a Co Louth bog or the brutal beating of a pair of inverted commas in a West Belfast alleyway at the weekend, saying that it would not be ‘helpful’ at this stage.