How To Get Yourself Glassed In Belfast...

In the interests of changing the record (for once) your narrator has decided to put up a few lesser known and unpopular myth-busters.

Please feel free to punch the screen, shout "it's not true!", call the narrator names and tell him that he is wrong, but remember, if you do, please attach a correction and a reference.

 Saying "this is all wrong, so it is!" without any back up is just a waste of typing. How can your narrator make the necessary amendments without a helping hand and a point in the right direction?


1/ Cromwell

Butcher of Ireland: Hang on, isn't that....?

He didn't just come over to Ireland unprovoked and start slaughtering Catholics out of boredom.

Whilst he certainly despised Catholicism and wasn't particularly fond of the Irish it must be remembered that Ireland was 'Plan B' for English Royalists and Ollie and his warts couldn't let that slide.

And for all those Presbyterians out there who get a thrill out of seeing him adorning the gable end of houses in the Shankill or on Loyalist Arches in places like Magherafelt, please remember this:

HE BROKE HIS AGREEMENT WITH THE COVENANTERS, INVADED SCOTLAND AND SMASHED THE PRESBYTERIAN ARMY IN ULSTER.


2/ More Cromwell

The Arran Islands: More English than you'd think

Blood surveys in the Gaelic strongholds of the Arran Islands near Galway showed that a fair number of the population (if not the majority) are direct descendants from Cromwell's soldiers who were based there during the blockade of Galway.










3/ The Siege of Derry

James did NOT come up to the walls, demand a surrender and have the doors shut in his face.

He was in France at the time.
 It was the Earl of Antrim who had the gates shut in his face and instead of kicking off a siege there and then he merely went over to the Protestant town of Coleraine and billeted there.

The siege started later.

And was a farce.

With small artillery. And hardly any artillery rounds compared to European sieges.

Not to mention that Governor Walker ALSO wanted to surrender the city, Lundy wasn't daft, he'd been in proper sieges before in places like Morrocco, fighting against the French.

He knew if that a half decent army armed with proper artillery arrived it would destroy the city.

IF...


4/ The Apprentice Boys.

A number of the original 13 spoke Gaelic (either Scots or Ulster). Perhaps all of them, perhaps only a few, it's difficult to know.

  But some of them did.

Being Gaelic: Hard to admit to...

5/ The British Army

Your narrator does not need to contribute anything negative to the British Army in Ireland as there are volumes of such works to this end.

So, some food for thought.

It is widely believed that many hard line Loyalists were angered by the intervention of the British Army in Belfast at the beginning of the Troubles as it much reduced the chances of evicting even more Catholics from the city.

Ian Paisley famously compared the British army to the SS

THIS....

THIS?

OR 

6/ St Patrick's Day

Was started in America by Irish Soldiers in the British Army

Originally, most parades were organised by Protestants e.g. the parade in Savannah Georgia.

Flying the tricolour is a comparatively recent idea.



7/ St Patrick's Cross           

Many Republicans and nationalists argue against its use in an Irish context seeing it as a British (or even Protestant) invention, given its inception at the hand of the Dukes of Leinster (the Fitzgeralds).

Where they make Catholic priests

St Patrick's diocese, New York. How very Protestant?

The Catholic church feels differently as the St Patrick's Cross is the flag of St Patrick's seminary, Maynooth (near Dublin).

It is also used by St Patrick's diocese in New York.

 Not to mention various Catholic schools the world over.

St Patrick's Roman Catholic Cathedral Armagh

8/ Ireland and Catholicism

          VS         

A tricky one, but it's a real stretch to say that Ireland has ALWAYS been Catholic.
The early Celtic branch of Christianity (the one that flourished whilst the Western Roman Empire was crumbling and for centuries thereafter) was not at all popular with the big-'wigs' (well, 'tonsures') in Rome.

Henry II, the 'English King' who invaded Ireland (well, he mainly attacked the Anglo-Normans in Ireland and the Norse cities) had a papal blessing for his invasion.

Ireland wasn't quite 'Roman' enough you see...

It's a tough one, get out the old theology and Christian history books for this one...


9/ Presbyterian Rebels (America and Ireland)

"Call this war by whatever name you may, only call it not an American rebellion; it is nothing more or less than a Scottish-Irish Presbyterian rebellion" 

Quote by a Hessian (German) mercenary officer fighting for the British against the American militias.

In American War of Independence, it is thought that a good half of the Rebel army were Irish Presbyterians

Their success gave much encouragement to their cousins in Ireland, especially in the North.

Out of this encouragement came the United Irishmen and their subsequent rebellion, led mainly by Protestants.

Incidentally, the mainly Catholic Monaghan militia was key in crushing the Rebellion in the Belfast area and was noted for its brutality, possibly driven by the perception that it had to shake off any doubts about its loyalty after having 4 members executed for treason



10/ The Boyne

PRETTY sure the horse wasn't white y'all. He wasn't stupid:
"Right! Aim for the man wearing bright Orange, sitting
on a big bright white horse!!!"

King William had Catholic troops too

His had an ally in the form of the Pope

Shortly after the Williamite victory, harsh penal laws were brought in which affected Presbyterians as well as Catholics



















11/The Easter Uprising

Edward Carson and the UVF: 'Loyalist Rebels'

At that time the newly formed UVF were seen as a great source of rebel inspiration given their open defiance of the Crown (oh the irony)








The rebels were not popular (until General Maxwell started shooting them).
At one point they had to use their rifle butts against women near Bow St Distillery as the women were so upset at this act of treachery whilst their men folk were far away on the Western Front slaughterhouse.

Meanwhile, over at the real war 10's of thousands of Irishmen were being slaughtered...

Part of the motivation for the uprising was a 'now or never' attitude as Ireland in general was so very pro-British thanks to the wartime propaganda

Things That Unionists and Protestants Get Right?

As suggested by some of the chaps over at http://sluggerotoole.com/2013/07/31/10-things-that-political-unionists-get-wrong/#comments , here is a list of suggestions of things that Unionists get right

They'll be no random pictures or silly captions today as (for once, it's quite time-consuming too) we don't want to belittle any of the points.

It'll be a rolling blog and your narrator will update the list upon worthy suggestions (an example of an unworthy suggestion is 'cool band uniforms').

Most of the suggestions below have been contributed by other bloggers, so thank you Red Lion and Green Flag.



1/Brian Faulkner and the Sunningdale Agreement in 1974 -  (even if it didn't last, nice try though)



2/  The failure of the vast majority of the unionist population to support the Loyalist paramilitaries and to generally continue to support the main parties - Your narrator agrees with this, funnily enough, he has met people in bands with UVF standards/links whom would not support the PUP as they were viewed by some as a 'Protestant Sinn Fein'.
 Interesting.

3 While many are not Church attenders one could suggest that a majority of unionists listened to the words of their Anglican , Presbyterian and Methodist ministers in restraining themselves from ‘acts ‘ of revenge -ditto of course for the majority of non unionists - Indeed, Northern Ireland could have been so much worse had clergymen not urged the turning of the other cheek or if dignified victims hadn't voiced against retribution.

4/ Doc Paisley eventually making it to the power sharing table despite decades of opposition and his groundbreaking ‘deal ‘ with SF leader and now DFM McGuinness - (took his sweet time about it, he could have not opposed it back in the 70's with Sunningdale and the SDLP, better late than never one supposes...)

5/ It was unionists who formed the Alliance Party, an important middle ground feature of NI politics -

6/ The UUP actually taking the brave leap in helping negotiate the GFA in the first place, much to their own party’s cost - Especially David Trimble, he knew what was in store for himself

7/ more recently, and I hope the most important, the formation of NI21, a hopefully genuine attempt to break support for Northern Ireland’s constitutional set-up out of being linked to perceived ethno-religious background - Catholics are now key to the Union

8/ SPADS bill by TUV, which gained a cross community support in curtailing the SF march of putting perpetrators of violence into positions over the heads of the rights of victims to feel that Stormont also belongs to them.

9/ Linked to GFA, but to some degree moving away from Anti- anglo Irish feeling to acceptance of some sort of a role or dimension for Dublin in NI affairs - let us not forget what Trimble did to the dreaded articles 2 & 3

10/ Rossnowlagh Annual Orange Parade - A shining example to other parades in the land that dispels the unfair image of the Orange Order as a 'drinking club with a marching problem'

"Charlie don't surf!": But Willie-John and John-Henry do...

Once Upon a Time in the West of the Bann (When Catholics Played Lambegs...)

Once upon a time, long ago, way before Presbyterians invented Irish Republicanism (sort of), the places that we know as Ireland and Scotland (or rather most of it) shared the same name in the eyes and mouths of the travelers from the civilised Mediterranean; ‘Scotia’, meaning land of the Gaels.

Scotia (Hibernia) and Scotia Minor

From a sea faring point of view it’s an archipelago with varying distances between hundreds of islands, the two main islands being separated only by 20km  but straddled in part by an identical culture (well, as far as Gaelic Scotland was concerned).

Hence, the world was gifted with Scotia Major (Ireland) and Scotia Minor (Scotland).

Remember, the modern ideas and interpretations of political borders are exactly that, ideas and interpretations. At one stage of history a country was decided by which family ruled it, not the common language or even geography. Physical boundaries counted for little if there was a monarch powerful enough to decide otherwise.

However, back in the days of ‘the’ Scotia, it was the norm that it was generally a ‘langwage thang’. And the Gaels (‘Scotians’?) spoke the same language.

That’s not to say that both lands were necessarily seen as ‘one’ by the inhabitants, for example, Brian Boru had himself titled ‘Imperator Scottorum’ – ‘The Emperor of the Gaels (Irish)’.

Brian Boru: "Imperator Scottorum"

Vodka Boru: "Aqua Scottorum?"

But at the same time these differences petered out now and again, in the myths of Cuchulainn he goes to places that would be deemed more familiar and local to seafaring Ulstermen than alien Connaght, e.g. The land of Skatha a.k.a the Land of Shadows (The Isle of Skye) and the lines become even more blurred when the MacDonald Clan (MacDonnells) obtain a foothold in Antrim.                                                                                                                         North and East Antrim became as much a part of the Scottish Highlands & Islands as the Argylle ( ‘Eastern Gael’).

Skatha's land: Skye

So much has been carried back and forth between the two lands over the past millennium or two that should a medieval sea-merchant be unfortunate enough to befall the fate of a casually explained time travelling plot and be transported to the modern era he would see little difference between them:                                                                                                                                                                                   The same names on either side of the Corryvrecken whirlpool, the same languages (though a difference in the ascendancy of the two), the same tribalism, the same music (roughly speaking and bar a few instruments, such as the new-fangled banjo gadget), the same stereotypes of drunkenness, quick wit, singing, and fighting etc etc.

He would then wonder at the need for the constant battle lines that are being drawn in the identity stakes.

The ‘Irish’ (as in the main group) are happy being Irish and they like the Scots. The Scots are very happy being Scottish and in general get on well with the Irish (especially if the Scots are of the West Coast variety). The Northern Irish Protestants (being stripped of their Anglo-Irish brethren since partition) have seemingly switched from being Irish with an obvious Scottish influence to being Scottish people marooned on the wrong side of the Corryvrecken.

This would cause a lot of bafflement to said medieval merchant.

His thoughts would be that given the similarities (and even the similarities of proclaimed differences e.g. Ulster Scots fiddling as opposed to Irish fiddling? It’s still Irish fiddling FFS! Just Irish fiddling that has been influenced by Scotland, logically so given their proximity) that any alleged differences must be surely artificial and contrived.

One would have to agree with the hapless and no doubt confused merchant.

Why so much effort into stressing the ethnic differences when said differences go full circle historically speaking and end up in Ireland anyway?

Were the Northern Irish Protestants planted on Erin’s shores from Nigeria then there would be a great deal of logic in the approach.

But they weren’t.

Nigerian

NOT Nigerian

They came from a place planted by Gaels, joined later on by the very same groups who imposed themselves on Ireland; Vikings and Anglo-Normans.

So it’s not like they’re the fruit of some exotic hybrid tree.

For a long time the main differences were religion and to a lesser extent political loyalties and the pronunciation of the letter ‘H’.

Now the churches are haemorrhaging members.                                                                               

                              The spectre of ‘Rome Rule’ is clumsily grasped by those who have gladly surrendered their mental faculties and those who wish to exploit this surrender and use it as means to induce fear and create political myths and bogeymen.   

'ROME RULE': The Fear

'ROME RULE': Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse

                                                                                                                                                               The past decade or so hasn't been great for the Catholic Church. Nineteenth century Presbyterian proselytisers would have lept on that wounded animal like a pack of hyenas.             

  Not so their modern counterparts.                                                                                        

                 If ever there was a time for a fresh stab at a ‘Celtic Church’, one that would use Gaelic as the language of the house (like the Free Presbyterians of the Outer Hebrides) and pay homage to the Celtic saints like, Brendan, Columba, Brigid, Kevin, Patrick & Co, it would be now.   

                                                                                                                     

With the fall of ‘Rome Rule’ and Protestant church attendance the cultures have even more in common  now given the machinations of modern life: Soap operas, fast food, supermarkets, commuting, benefits, tabloids, mobile phones, cheap alcohol, praying to the hand of the lottery for deliverance, a hankering to own anything by Steve fucking Jobs etc etc.

Yet the idea of massive differences prevails.

So much so that there are whispers of a ‘cultural war’.

British

Irish

There is no denying that there is a short sighted strategy to wipe away all evidence of British trappings, unconvincingly labeling it as a ‘foreign’ influence.

 Such is the logic and initial tragic path for nationalism.

For all the bravado of nationalism there is an inherent insecurity lurking in the background.

Take former European colonies and the difference in post-colonial attitudes. 

African countries couldn’t wait to tear down the monuments of their former masters whilst the Indians preserved many of the pompous British Imperial edifices in a very indifferent non-plused manner in the off chance Jonny Englander might come for a photo, much to the envy of the rest of the Daily Mail readership.        (Although that's not to say your humble narrator blames the Africans for such actions, we're all human after all and people like King Leopold of Belgium didn't do much to raise Europeans to the moral high ground)

                                                                                                                                                                                      In Central and Eastern Europe many cities now strive to show off ‘their’ architecture, buildings imposed on them by ‘oppressive’ empires: Krakov, Prague, Zagreb, Ljubljana, L’vov, Chernivtsi, Brasov and many more beside. Each town is proud of its architectural portfolio and the Hapsburgs be damned if they’re getting the credit or the resentment.

Dublin had this phase too, some citizens there were glad to see the ‘British’ houses of Georgian Dublin go under the wrecker’s hammer but now Georgian Dublin (at least as far as one can discern from tourist literature) IS Dublin. (Your humble narrator worked in a Dublin hotel that once served as a bank back in the Georgian hey-day).

Now the chip on the collective shoulder has been replaced by pragmatism. The Georgian and Victorian buildings of Dublin are now a source of pride and perhaps though British by inception were built by Irish hands.

Dublin Pubs: They didn't build themselves

These same Irish hands lifted pints in the splendid Georgian and Victorian watering holes of Dublin and penned words for the world to admire in their adopted language.

The people of Dublin are all the better for this acceptance of their ‘foreign’ influences, whether it be their buildings, their common tongue or the very foundation of Dublin itself (a Viking trading post, colony and slave port).

The same can’t be said for the Northern Protestants who have went from being foreigners, quasi foreigners (as in Protestant Gaels), to full blown Irish, to Ulster nationalists (still Irish) to now simply British.

They are not only Irish, they were as instrumental to Irish culture and its recognisable symbols as the ancient Irish were to Scotland (for example, the word ‘craic’ (originally spelled as 'crack') and musical reels are both Scottish imports).

Yet many would violently deny their Irishness on account of the perception of what Irishness ‘is’ i.e. in the eyes of many Protestants it is that brand of Irishness championed by Sinn Fein who are not yet even at the African-esque post-colonial stage of nationalism.

RUINING. EVERYTHING.

This to many Protestants and Unionists is highly unappealing and forces them to retreat into a cultural cul-de-sac of the Irish terrain: Ulster Scots (or ‘Scots Irish’ as the original term would have it, but in their eyes the word Irish has been sullied by Adams & Co).

TRYING to ruin everything

So now we have Scots (Irish) opposed to Irishness in the original ‘Scot’land (Ireland) and heaven forbid that foreigners would confuse these Celtic (“K-eltic”) English speakers with other Celtic English speakers of a very similar back ground.

Your humble narrator, who cherishes his Scottish ancestry to such an extent that he got married in a kilt (and persuaded attending Slavs to dress similarly) regrets that there is such an artificial cultural wedge driven between Erin and Alba that the two countries are culturally speaking being pushed so far apart by the very people who should act as a cultural bridge.    


                                         

                                Kilts were once the preserve of extreme Irish nationalists, now they are the preserve of the Ulster Scots and the British army. A golden opportunity lost. 

Irishmen in kilts

Irish man in  a kilt

Irishman in a kilt (a.k.a. 'Ulster Scot')

South African Irishmen in kilts

Irish Nationalist in a kilt

You get the idea...

                           

  To have an Ireland (at least in the North) where kilts, pipes, Gaelic, lambegs, folk dances, music, hurley sticks and marches are part and parcel of EVERYONE’S identity would be a strong Ireland indeed. The Northerners would stick out very much as Northerners; different from the South and different from the Scots yet comprised of the best parts of both lands.

To push the sci-fi fantasy of earlier even further and propose the impossible scenario that once again the language of the mainly Presbyterian Scottish Outer Hebrides should become the dominant language of the two lands (the language that was the tongue of Dalriada, the ancient kingdom much lauded by the modern Ulster Scots) then where exactly would the differences in the cultures lie?

Part of the reason for the perceived submersion of Ulster Scots culture is quite simply that is was in a manner of speaking the backbone of Irish culture of the North.    

                                                                      Only when the culture ‘stasi’ of the south started to tinker with the idea of what Irish culture should be did the difference start to take root for Northern Ireland’s isolated Catholic population looked to the south for cultural guidance, not to their Northern Protestant compatriots (who didn’t want them there in the first place).                                                                                                                                                                   

         Hence, no more Catholic lambeg drummers(?)

AOH Lambeg drum, Bantry, Co Tyrone (?)

So now Ulster Scots is making a recovery but this time it’s showing some of ‘puritanism’ and contrived nationalism as their opposite numbers down south did when trying to refashion ‘culture’. 

The Irish nationalists wanted rid of ‘foreign’ influences, the Ulster-Scots nationalists want to retain pretty much only foreign influences and the rich’ culture that should have been’ has been still-born at best, murdered at worst.

The irony of being more Scottish than Scottish so as not to be Irish is not lost on your wretched narrator who so dearly wishes to see the northern land retain its natural stance in the order of things: 

the cultural bridge between Ireland and Scotland, not a series of contrived cultural fault lines.

Republicans and Their 'Reality'

It has been pointed out to your narrator that although the aim of this blog is to highlight some of the irreconcilable quirks and full-blown idiocies of his own tribe - in the vain hope that some one might listen and make head way into stopping its self-destruction - it nonetheless must be conceded that some of these incredible ways are, in a manner of speaking, a reaction to "themmuns".

With that in mind it was decided that some of the quirks of themuns should be brought under the microscope too.

So without further ado (but with perhaps a little bit of hypocrisy) here are some things that Republicans and Nationalists (more so?) 'do' that are ridiculous in the eyes of Unionists and indeed many impartial bystanders.



1/ THEIR VERSION OF HISTORY (800 years of fighting the 'English')

Once upon a time your narrator would have applied this to only the less well educated or the overtly political and sensationalist variety of Republicans.

However, recent perusals of blogs have led to the discovery of some educated types who also swallow this bilge.

Many people it seem, actually believe that somehow, despite having their social elite removed under the weight of the Norman Conquest that 'the English' invaded Ireland in the late 12th century.

If so then this was quite an achievement by a group of people who had been pushed into the ground to such an extent that the invading french speaking Norman gangsters managed to compile a book that documented ever piece of taxable property in England, impose a new language for the social elite and attempt a plantation or two in Great Britain (Flemmings, would you believe, even brought them to Ireland too).

When said French speaking gangsters had settled in, a century later one of their number who was having a time of it in the Welsh Marches received an invite from an Irish Chieftain.
This Chieftain (in an offer remarkably similar to an alleged offer by an Irish king to the Roman Agricola a millennium before) wanted a spot of continental military know-how to help him advance his position in Ireland.

The Cambro-Norman known as Strongbow obliged.

Now, according to the songs and tales of oppression whom do you think was the first to feel Strongbow's wrath?

The ever oppressed (yet somehow at the same time valiant and militarily adept) Irish?

No.

Vikings. Or Norse (and Danes). Or at that stage they were known as 'Oostmen', Gaelicised Vikings.

They were the first port of call.

When Henry II came over, his 'invasion' wasn't so much to subjugate Ireland (he had enough on his plate) it was to put the leash on the Anglo/Cambro-Norman lords there as he didn't want the place to turn into cold and wet version of Sicily (where Norman Lords had parceled the place out between them and were constantly kicking the shit out of each other).












Henry couldn't even speak English. He spoke French. Was born in (what is now) France and spent most of his time there. His Empire stretched from the Scottish border to the Pyrennes in what is now Southern France.

Henry II: the 'English King' That Invaded Ireland? Really?

His son John invaded in the early 13th century for similar reasons (to crush an Anglo-Norman rebellion), although he didn't have a papal blessing like his father.

From that point on, it was in fact like a wet and cold Sicily after all as the Normans, the Crown and the Irish Chieftains were constantly trying to better their own station at the expense of others, with Anglo-Normans teaming up with Chieftains against one another to the extent they went 'native'.

And as for the idea of 'Ireland vs Cromwell' or 'Ireland vs the Crown'? Well, all I can say is read a book or two, it certainly wasn't that clear cut...

Sorry

2/ ATTITUDE TO IRISH SOLDIERS IN THE BRITISH ARMY

Young Irish Men, Soon About To Go To The Massacre

Irish people have been fighting for and against the various monarchs from the Island (or archipelago???) of Great Britain for a long time.

Even yer man the 'baddie' in Brave Heart had quite a few to fight against the Scots (in real life they weren't so 'pally' as the film suggests).

To turn around and label them all as 'traitors' smacks of the typical despotic approach of 'you're either with us or against us'.

Even now you'll find hundreds (thousands IF you include Protestants) in the British army.

The 'Ireland vs the Saxon' narrative is such a fabrication and twisted story that the only people who can swallow it are Republicans themselves and Irish Americans.

It's understandable if you're from some of the conflict zones of Northern Ireland, what you've seen is what you've seen and no one can take that away from you, but to back date your anger and retrospectively apply it to 10's of thousands of your fellow Irishmen is petty.

Although, thankfully, this attitude is also undergoing a thaw of sorts, especially down south.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-22425684

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/president-and-taoiseach-commemorate-irish-war-dead-29418834.html






Though to be fair:

Loyalists: NOT. HELPING. THE. POPPY.

3/ TURNING ON AND OFF A PERSON'S NATIONALITY DEPENDING ON THEIR OPINIONS OR RELIGION

Sometimes identity in Ireland is like a light bulb.

It can be turned off if deemed unnecessary/a hindrance.

For example, in general, back in the day, if a family was moneyed, had English ancestry, owned a large business, had servants and sent the kids to school in England as tradition, then they were considered to be 'Anglo-Irish'.

Simply apply Catholicism to the above recipe and they're back to being Irish, for example, the family of Richard Harris (the hell raising actor).

Simply apply a Rome based version of a middle eastern religion and they're somehow Irish.

Apply an English one or a Swiss or German based one and they're quasi-foreign.

Despite the best efforts of Rome to eradicate the 'indigenous' Celtic version of Christianity it is some how rewarded with a monopoly on identity.

Your narrator finds this baffling.






When the Anglo-Norman lords who came over to further their own greedy ambitions (NO patriotism in their goals whatsoever) they were 'English'.
Then after being hibernicised (statutes of Kilkenny my ass) they were 'old English'.

Until Henry VIII comes over and tries to whip them into line (in a blood thirsty over zealous manner), then they're 'Irish'.


Then the smarter ones who knew how to bend in the wind like the Lords of the O'Neills, McDonnells and Fitzgeralds are back to being 'Anglo' (despite their respective  Irish, Scottish and Norman roots).

You narrator envies Scotland, for over there one can be of Anglo or Gaelic or Pictish or Nordic or Norman or 'British' (high-Welsh?) background and still without any doubt whatsoever call oneself a Scot.

One can be a clan chief, live the life of a gent in London and be a Unionist to the hilt and still be a proud Scot.

Not in Ireland. There are clauses. No one's sure who's in charge of them though...



4/ THE GREAT WARRIOR - OPPRESSION PARADOX

That a country that is a hot bed of great soldiers, warrior poets and warrior legends at the same time has been under the yoke of another neighbouring country for 800 years.









OR?

It's on a par with Christian paleontologists: Should be contradictory but there's a surprising number of them out there.




FYI, the Tibetans, not known for being a warrior nation given their pacifistic nature managed to throw off the yoke of the Mongols (military nutters) within THREE centuries.

Also, the population difference between Ireland and England was only substantial as of  around 160 years ago. Before that although England was bigger, it wasn't THAT much bigger.
Plus it had been dealing with France, Scotland, sometimes Spain and sometimes the Netherlands for centuries.
 So it's not like they spent all their time thinking " so how can we f*ck up Ireland today then?"

Which would lead your average Joe to think that one of the suggestions must be wrong: either the Irish aren't great warriors after all or the 800 years of solid oppression is a crock of sh*te.

As some one who is proud to be Irish (your narrator considers Ulster-Scots/Scots-Irish to be just that, a subset of the Irish family) and very proud of Ireland's calibre of soldiers and generals in centuries of warfare your narrator must biasedly choose the side of a proud military history and cast off the '800 years' as gross exaggeration bereft of context.

There, I've said it.


5/ HIGHLIGHTING THE NUMBER OF PROTESTANT REPUBLICANS

Henry Joy McCracken: NOT a Provo.

Pretty much a Presbyterian invention, Republicanism appears to have aged for the worse over the centuries, so much so there's very few Republicans from the Protestant side of the fence.


What does that say about Republicanism?
 Especially as there is a large number of open minded Protestants quite averse to Loyalism and it's accompanying British nationalism, why then are they so seemingly impermeable to Republicanism's ideals?

It's a bit of a cheek to salute and hail Henry Joy McCracken or Roddy McCorley when very few of their modern co-religionists find anything appealing in the modern day version of the movement that they helped to found.



Please leave them out of it until your house is more appealing.

FYI: Mentioning Billy Leonard will not impress anyone.

6/ 'MOPE'RY

There is no quicker way to start the eyes rolling on a Unionist than to start citing the injustices of 'perfidious Albion'.

Seriously, not everything is the fault of the British.

They did some good too you know, the tourist industry of Dublin is for one quite grateful for the Georgian Architecture, Victorian pubs, museums and infrastructure that the British left behind.

Furthermore, the perceived gains of years of gurning has spawned a worrying new breed of creature: The Orange-MOPE.

Thank you guys, thank you so much for giving us the Protestant Coalition...

Protestants: So much better when they weren't 'appressed'

Now they think that if they can persuade the under educated and the over zealous that every one is against them then the 'Prawtestant Peepal' will rally around some sort of Protestant renaissance.

An ironic choice of word given that to many of them, as to Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that 'happened to other people'...






7/ DENYING THAT THERE'S AN IMAGE PROBLEM WITH THE GAELIC GAMES

Read any Unionist paper in the country or go on any political blog with any kind of Unionist representation and you'll hear the complaints from the Protestant community about how uninviting to down right offensive the GAA is to the Protestant community at large.

ORC WITH HURLEY STICK: NOT an image problem?

That coupled with the pathetically low Protestant membership level MUST surely send alarm bells ringing in a non-sectarian organisation?










There have been a some gestures made but by and large it's the refuge of themuns and thought of in harsh terms by many Unionists.

How is that not an image problem?

IMAGE IMPROVEMENT: Just a suggestion...

8/ HOBBLING THE APPEAL OF THE IRISH LANGUAGE

"STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN JUST STOP!!!"

Similar to above, rightly or wrongly, it is perceived by many Unionists (less so now thankfully) as the domain of Republicanism.

Once upon a time it was the academic plaything of the Anglo-Irish gentry who embraced it as they finally realised that they were in the eyes of their English counterparts 'a bunch of Paddies'.

 

Gaelic Mosaic in Kintullagh House, now St Louis Convent

Some of these wealthy paddies adorned their grand houses with glorious Gaelic themed frescoes and mosaics.

Which must have been lovely, till many were burned in '23 for being on the wrong side.
Or indeed, as mentioned before the ever shifting goal-posts of Irish identity caught them off-guard:

"today's Tuesday, today you're..." *rolls dice* "...a SIX! ENGLISH! BURN THE HOUSE DOWN! In a polite fashion mind...."







A turning point in the history came in 1915 when the Gaelic League was taken over by people with a Republican political agenda.

This helped to alienate Protestants who were instrumental in it's formation and facilitated the slow death of the language in the newly formed Northern Ireland.

If it was the language of nationalism then it wasn't suitable as a language for Unionists which helped to reduce the number of Protestant Gaelic speakers in the Shankill from nearly 20% to S.F.A.

So lads, a job well done eh?

A well known quote (or perhaps an urban myth, either way, the phrase is famous) allegedly by a Sinn Fein drone party member ironically fired a few rounds into the image of the Irish language in the eyes of Protestants: "Every word of Irish spoken is like another bullet being fired in the struggle for Irish freedom..."

Try and keep the safety catch on please...

Seeing Gerry Adams et al speaking Irish is a bad image for the Irish language in the eyes of Unionism and many Protestants in general.

Thankfully, there are people like Linda Ervine, the Ultach and a few Presbyterian churches which are striving to over come this imbalance.

Linda Ervine's class: http://www.ebm.org.uk/communityirishclass.php

Ultach: http://www.ultach.org/

Fitzroy Presbyterian Church:  http://www.fitzroy.org.uk/Groups/80951/Fitzroy_Presbyterian_Church/Get_Connected/Irish_Speakers/Irish_Speakers.aspx

Good luck to them.

9/ SAYING 'THE NORTH OF IRELAND' INSTEAD OF 'NORTHERN IRELAND'

"Nnnn...Nooorrr...tthhh....errrrnn.....Ire........lanndddddddd. ...."

Northern Ireland/
It still exists.

Sorry.

If it didn't, then you may not have become a hard line Republican in the first place.




Some even call the Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland the 'Six Counties Deputy First Minister'.

Sorry, but that's just stupid.

You sound petty, small and biased when you say this.

In which case why would we listen to you?

10/ READING BOOKS BY TIM PAT COOGAN

Well, it depends if you want to be objective and critical regarding Ireland's turbulent history or just want to take the slippy slope to full blown MOPEry.

If you ever want to be taken seriously in a debate with a Unionist, DO NOT quote Tim Pat Coogan.

He has a gift for writing, a great way with words and a tremendous tenacity for research.

All in all a waste of talent that could have been better served to give people a sense of respect and belief in themselves instead of compounding an inferiority complex regarding the dreaded Saxon.

(With the exception of 'Wherever Green is Worn', but then again he just goes overboard)

Seriously, when you type an author's name into Google along with the word 'bias' there should not be nearly a full page of Google hits related entirely to that particular historian's views. Except maybe Niall Ferguson...