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| Shin Painn Motto: "Unite Ireland by dividing her thoroughly" |
Republican strategists initiated the latest stage of their plan to unify Ireland by further pissing off the community that is the biggest obstacle to their goal of a united Ireland.
Defying logic in what can only be a plan that is too complicated for the rest of us mortals to follow, Shin Painn decided that the best thing to do at Christmas, the traditional time for good will, was to further antagonise the the city's minority, ergo making themselves even less trustworthy in the Protestant community's eyes and polarising the city's milder 'middle of the road' citizens.
A Shin Painn spokesman stated earlier today "Well, you see, there's been a great chat about the number of Protestants who think that a United Ireland wouldn't be so bad and that in such an event Shinn Painn will handle the transition smoothly, delicately and without malice. This move is to reassure everyone that this is absolute bollocks and that we'll do what we want when we want and there's nothing you can do about it Billy-O..."
He further added "it's easy to get away with such things as all we have to do is remind people how bad themuns were to us years ago and start a sentence with "well what about..."..."
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| Gerry Kelly: "Only when we piss every one off and contradict our goals of a peaceful united Ireland, will we truly be free" |
