MOTION TO DO AWAY WITH GRAMMAR!
Since the 12th Century when the English language
was brutally and selfishly imposed on an unsuspecting Irish and Norse-Gaelic
population by a small band of French speaking gangsters and their Flemish
speaking colonial lackeys, the Irish people have had to suffer the indignity of
basic grammar.
Am Ghobsmacht and
her sister republican fortnightly publications have decided to take a stand
against this instrument of British subjugation and disregard the rules of
grammar altogether.
Leading this charge of freedom will be none other than the
literary martyrs that are the editors of those publications.
In a commendable two-fingered salute to the system, the
editor of An Phobhlacht opened with a thinly veiled broadside whilst discussing
the new IRA & MI5 movie ‘Shadow Dancer’:
“ANY FILM financed by
BBC Films and the British Film Council (with a few bob from the Irish Film
Board) is unlikely to be a box office production that portrays the IRA of
recent decades fairly, particularly up against Britain’s own Security Service,
MI5.”
Nice one.
The reader, while naively following the rules of grammar and
punctuation expects to follow the paragraph for at least another sentence due
to the opening word of the sentence ‘any’ as opposed to ‘A’. This tool of British control is quite rightly
ignored and suddenly the sentence ends and catches the reader.
Off guard.
A Shin Pain spokesman congratulated such a defiant manoeuvre
from the journalist add added “...this is a just and rightful step in the
direction of disengagement from the suffocating use of English grammar,
abbreviation, diction and worst of all – punctuation...”
The spokesperson refused to comment on the discovery of a
corpse of an exclamation mark in a Co Louth bog or the brutal beating of a pair
of inverted commas in a West Belfast alleyway at the weekend, saying that it
would not be ‘helpful’ at this stage.